Maternity leave: What to do if your employer is pressuring you to return to work early

Very few new mums take the full year of maternity leave they're entitled to. Nearly three in five return to work earlier than planned because maternity pay is so low. And for self-employed mums, taking even a couple of months off can feel risky, with many heading back to work after just a few weeks to protect their income and clients.

But what if the pressure to return isn't just financial? What if it's your employer suggesting they're struggling without you, hinting that you should come back sooner than you had planned?

For many new mums, conversations about returning to work aren't easy. There’s the emotional challenge of leaving your baby, the practicalities of finding childcare, and the ever-present lingering fear of job loss. Research from Pregnant Then Screwed found that around 74,000 women a year in the UK lose their jobs because they're pregnant or have taken maternity leave, marking a 37% increase from 54,000 in 2016.

So, what should you do if your employer is dropping heavy hints that you should return?

Here's what you need to know – and what you can do if you feel pushed to return before you're ready.

“Being asked to return from maternity leave earlier than planned can feel incredibly conflicting,” says Sophie Maunder, a coach at MATRI coaching who supports parents returning to work.

“On one hand, it may feel flattering. Your employer is telling you that you are missed, valued and needed. It may signal an exciting opportunity, a promotion, a major project or simply that your expertise has become difficult to replace.”

On the other, though, maternity leave exists for a reason. It’s a time for physical and mental recovery, adjusting to being a parent, and most importantly, time for you to bond with your baby. “Those early months are unique. Unlike work opportunities, they cannot simply be recreated later,” says Maunder.

(Credit: William Fortunato/Pexels)

Your manager might ask you to return early outright, but often, they may drop not-so-subtle hints. 

Francesca O’Connor, co-founder of workplace culture firm Happy HQ, says it might not feel like pressure at first, but care. “It might be a stream of ‘we miss you’ messages, or being copied into threads you don't need to be on,” she says. “A passing comment about how stretched everyone is, with just enough weight to leave you feeling guilty.”

What to do if you’re asked to end your maternity leave early

Find out why they want you to return

It’s helpful to find out why your employer wants you to return to work earlier than planned. 

“Has someone unexpectedly resigned? Has an exciting opportunity arisen that they genuinely think would benefit your career? Are they trying to involve you because they don’t want you to miss out?” asks Maunder.

Organisations have clients, deadlines and commercial pressures. But sometimes there may be an opportunity that is worth exploring.

“Understanding the motivation behind the request helps you decide whether this is pressure or simply a conversation,” adds Maunder.

"It might be a stream of ‘we miss you’ messages, or being copied into threads you don't need to be on"

Francesca O’Connor, Happy HQ

Remember it is your choice

You should never feel guilty for taking the leave you had planned. If you want to return to work, great. But if you don’t, you are within your rights to say no.

“The first thing I would say to any mother is this: a request is not an obligation,” says Maunder. “Your employer will almost certainly have found ways to adapt while you have been away, and it is entirely reasonable to expect them to continue doing so until your agreed return date.”

Ask yourself honest questions

If returning early is something you might consider, ask yourself some honest questions. Think about whether you are emotionally or physically ready to return to work, or if you would regret losing time with your baby.

There are also practical concerns too, like finding adequate childcare. Most daycares have lengthy waiting lists and depending on where you live, you’ll need to consider if your child is old enough to qualify for free Government-funded childcare.

It’s also worth considering if heading back early will genuinely benefit your career, or whether you are just hesitant to say no. 

“If you say yes, what flexibility or support could you reasonably ask for in return?” asks Maunder. “Perhaps the most important question is this - if I say no, will I feel comfortable with that decision?”

(Credit: Kaboom/Pexels)

Know your legal rights

Maternity leave is a legal right, not a favour. Ultimately, your agreed return date should be respected.

If you’re worried about being treated unfairly or discriminated against if you refuse to return to work early, it is worth checking in with the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS). They're a free, impartial UK body that gives advice on workplace rights and disputes, and they'll be able to give you information based on your individual circumstances.

Recognise inappropriate pressure 

The healthiest conversations aren’t driven by pressure or guilt, but honesty and mutual respect.

“A healthy employer should be able to hear ‘not yet’ without damaging the relationship,” says Maunder. “The best employers recognise that supporting someone through maternity leave isn’t simply about complying with legislation. It’s about building trust. Ironically, when employees feel that their boundaries are respected, they are often more engaged, more committed and more loyal when they do return.”

Get the conversation over and done with

We’re all guilty of avoiding awkward conversations, but leaving it lingering will make you feel worse. And no new parent needs to worry about work while caring for a newborn.

“The longer you leave it, the harder it gets,” says O’Connor. “Once you know, lay a line early. Not aggressively, just clearly. You could ask your employer to check in with you in three months, closer to your planned return date. You don't need to justify it beyond that.”

Clarity is key. Most employers don't realise the effect they're having, so ending the discussion as soon as you’ve made a decision is important.

“This is also your first moment as a new parent setting boundaries at work,” she adds. “It gets more complicated from here. Starting as you mean to go on matters.”