What is bubble wrapping? Why it could be holding women back

At work, women are 20% more likely to worry about being likeable, 15% more likely to hold back their true opinions and 10% more likely to apologise, compared to male colleagues. These statistics speak to a culturally entrenched ‘likeability labour’ - the mental exhaustion of being likeable - and the act of ‘bubble wrapping’.

What is bubble wrapping?

Bubble wrapping is an umbrella term for the ways in which we modify our behaviour to make co-workers feel comfortable. We all have a work persona to a certain degree, but this particular term pinpoints the extra emotional labour we take on from others, and the energy this can take from us. 

Stephanie Lewis, a healthcare leader and therapist, describes bubble wrapping as a form of “emotional work that would normally belong to another adult.” She explains that managers are particularly likely to take on this work in their efforts to mitigate conflict and solve problems for employees:

“Rather than allowing employees to resolve issues independently, managers - and especially women - have historically been encouraged to create comfort and psychological safety in their teams.”

This might look like softening your language during feedback, acting as mediator to help people find common ground, over-explaining decisions or avoiding disagreements to protect others from hurt or embarrassment. These kinds of daily acts and self-edits may feel insignificant, but overtime they can eat into your own capacity and resources, leading to exhaustion, stress and burnout.

Read more: The fine line between ambition and perfectionism

Why women should take note

The Shapeshifters: What We Do at Work to Be Liked report found that 56% of women feel pressure to be likeable at work. The study concluded that the demand on women to “balance competence with warmth, assertiveness with agreeability, and combine authority with overt humility” transcends industries and job titles.

At a time when more women are recognising how exhausting it is to manage the mood in the room, bubble wrapping gives a name to a form of invisible labour that often goes unrewarded.

When women spend time managing others’ emotions, smoothing over conflict and making themselves more palatable, that energy is diverted away from their own priorities, visibility and progression. Over time, consistently prioritising other people’s comfort can make it harder to be seen as assertive, decisive and ready for greater responsibility.

“In my work with teams, I’ve noticed that the effort of holding everything together often goes unnamed,” says Indra Klavins, a leadership and organisational advisor. “If it isn’t named, it isn’t measured, and if it isn’t measured, it isn’t shared across the team,” she says.

What’s the takeaway?

It’s important that a light-hearted term like ‘bubble wrapping’ doesn’t contribute to archaic and harmful stereotypes. It highlights a systemic problem in workplace culture and a price women are forced to pay. And crucially, it shouldn’t be framed as a behavioural trait that women need to change.

The reality is that bubble wrapping is strategic, and that thoughtfulness is a strength. Yet Lewis emphasises that comfort and psychological safety are different, and do not have to be mutually exclusive.

“Psychological safety is created when individuals can disagree respectfully and discuss difficult topics without fear of retaliation. Strong teams require healthy boundaries and respect to thrive.”

If you recognise yourself in these bubble-wrapping behaviours, start by noticing how much time and energy they take from you. But remember that you may have learned to communicate this way because being direct can sometimes come with real consequences for women. Changing these habits isn’t just an individual responsibility, workplace culture needs to change too.

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